5x1: being disliked, taking refugee, and derailing stress

Hey there. Welcome to 5x1 – 5 quick things to get you feeling yourself and the present moment. (Or just doing an awkward little half-smile. That’ll make sense in a minute, promise.)

1. A thought about making something people love (or hate)

You can’t make something people can love unless you’re comfortable with people hating it. If you try to keep everyone happy, you’ll make something soulless. And, honestly, you'll probably be bored as hell.

Read more: Find freedom in being disliked.

2. A quote about making a space for others to take refuge

In Asako Yuzuki’s novel Butter (translated by Polly Barton), the protagonist Rika builds her place in the world (alongside interviewing a serial killer and getting real into cooking).

In the process, she makes a space for her friends to escape from the world:

Her loved ones’ issues were their own domains, as individuals, and not places that she could go stomping into. Quite possibly, the only thing she could do was to create a place of refuge where the people close to her could come when they needed to.

This, ultimately, becomes more important to her than her professional achievements (and is my favourite part of a good book). Worth a read.

3. A question: where do you go for safety?

Is there a place you go when you need time away from your problems? Some you call (or message) for a break?

I don't know if it's necessarily a conscious "Ah, time to make haste for [place]" deal either. For me, it’s often running a Dungeons & Dragons sesh for my friends.

4. A meditation to help derail stress

This is one of my go-to meditations when everything feels a bit much. I close my eyes, put a little half smile on my face, and breath:

Breathing in, I calm my body

Breathing out, I smile

Living in the present moment

I know that this is a wonderful moment

The half smile is key. You might feel like a total goober but trust me. It helps.

After going through those four lines once or twice, I cut it down to:

Calm

Smile

Present

Wonderful

More often or not, my half smile turns into an honest-to-god smile. My body and mind slow down and everything feels a bit more calm.

I took this meditation from The miracle of mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese monk who helped bring mindfulness to the West.

5. A painting that ruined my day

I can’t overstate how much this painting ruined my trip to the National Gallery of Victora’s Triennial exhibition early this year. (I mean that as a compliement.)

It was in the second room we visited and I just stood there, staring at it, for 5+ minutes. It’s detail, colour, and rhythm flooded my attention.

Measuring 2.9 × 4.9 metres (9.5’ x 16’), Betty Muffler – an Indigenous Australian artist – painted it as a landscape of her Country from an eagle’s POV, mapping it’s waterholes and waterways.

My partner and I left the gallery not long after. We’d seen a fifth of the exhibition – she had the same response to Mun-Dirra (Maningrida Fish Fence) in the first room. We didn’t see the point in sticking around.

Coming up: an essay about money and how to use it well. I promise zero investing advice and a modest tangent into the history of capitalism.

See ya next week with 5 more terrific things.

🌊

cz xxo